When you hear the words 'Imposter Syndrome' together, the first thought that probably comes to mind is 'Someone who fakes it till they make it.'
That's what most people said when I raised this question, which wasn't very different from my understanding. But that changed soon enough post attending LeanIn Bangalore's Power Chat session on the Imposter Syndrome.
The Imposter Syndrome is pretty much when you don't think you're worth it as much as that very famous beauty brand claims you are... (wink, wink).
Self-doubt creeps in and voila! you're a disaster hiding in the side wings while the rest of the world takes centre-stage.
More often than not, we hold ourselves back from achieving the things we are so capable of and yet that little annoying voice inside of us tells us otherwise.
It's the feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach, the very same feeling you get right before you unexpectedly throw up, but deep down inside, you know you're really just afraid of getting called out for pretending to know something that you don't, or just pretending to have successfully completed a task with ease while the others gape in awe at your accomplishment. What's worse is the Imposter Syndrome doesn't limit itself to social interactions but extends itself to your personal relationships as well.
You could possibly be the most successful person in your field, but if you don't recognize this yourself, nobody will. And that is the ultimate price one pays while going through the imposter syndrome.
People usually fall into one of the following 5 categories or a mix of two or more.
The Perfectionist — Making life miserable for oneself and everyone around you by setting the bar high and then spending most of the time worrying about attaining them or measuring up to these.
The Superwoman/man — constantly pushing oneself harder to measure up given they feel they are phonies among real deal colleagues
Natural Genius — The Know it all! believe they need to be a “genius” at everything and get things right the very first time they try it
Soloist — If you'd rather struggle with a task or let go of it than ask for help, yup, this category is yours!
The Expert — Too much learning to catch up on? This bunch feels that they never know enough and constantly have the urge to know everything about a topic before they write/work/speak about it
Now that we know what we are, comes the difficult task of doing what needs to be done...How do we overcome this? Because trust me, been there, done that and it has brought a LOT of difference in the way I perceive thing now.
Get rid of the notion that everyone has their sh*t together, because they don't! Once in a while it is OKAY to be average. Because what do you do once you've earned 1st place? Raise the bar higher and worry more, pfft! There are so many things I've learned from all the things that have gone wrong and it is only because being a perfectionist is something I associate with so easily that it is pretty much responsible for ALL my binge eating.
It takes immense effort to let yourself go especially if you fit in as the 'Soloist'. Asking for help isn't easy and while I have learned that the hard way, it sure can benefit you in many many ways.
Avoid the constant search for validation whether from your peers or social groups. You know you're awesome, why wait in misery land for someone to come tell you that?!
You are always going to be a work in progress, but make that progress for the good. While saying 'No' to things is difficult, accepting 'No' is even tougher (10x tougher, might I add).
As someone at the power chat concluded, "Comparison is the thief of joy, celebrate the little joys!"
